Wedding days often mean that everything has to be just right. The right music, the most perfect-colour flowers, delicious food, the guests all behaving themselves, perfect weather, rings not mislaid, and a groom and/or best man not hung over from the stag do. Most of all, it means a bride who can stand there at the altar in 'The Dress', make-up flawless, hair effortlessly styled, and, above all, looking as slim and beautiful as she has ever looked.
They say that a bride always looks lovely, but it certainly takes some work! With all the magazines, from Cosmo to Perfect Bride, telling us what's in and out of style and how to plan the perfect day, together with OK and Hello full of celebrities showing us how it's done, it's easy for a bride to feel inadequate. Now, I have The Dress, the venue is secured, a string quartet booked, and the days are beginning to speed ever closer to the big day.
With this in mind, but not purely for the sake of the wedding, I have begun using the Nintendo Wii Fit, and have actually lost over a stone during the past few months. Not that I believe that women have to be thin to be attractive, but that is the media-produced ideal in our society, and hard to fight. That being said, I know I could be a lot healthier and fitter, with losing weight being a large part of this, and so far, so good.
I recently published an article on the benefits and enjoyment of using the Wii Fit system. These include the lack of embarrassment and money spent on joining a gym, the ability to exercise in your own time in your own home, and the fun of competing against yourself, your partner, or your friends for higher and higher scores on each exercise-related 'game'. There is a varied mixture of aerobics, muscle toning, balance exercises, and yoga, together with a body test that measures posture, BMI and weight using the 'balance board'. It really is fun and good for you at the same time.
So, I'm not saying that I'm about to buy into the media and celebrity-created ideal of exactly what a bride should look like, but I do know I'd like to look my best on what will be one of the most important days of my life, so I'm sticking to the Wii Fit, and the diet, and come next September I just hope the photos show a welcome truth to all my hard work!
Sunday 1 November 2009
Sunday 4 October 2009
In-laws and Outlaws
This week we have had my future in-laws stay with us. I should start by saying that they are lovely people and we get on very well - I'm very lucky. Families are part of what make us who we are, for good or for bad, and I've noticed as I've grown older how much I take after my own parents, what I've gained from my upbringing. In turn, I've also noticed the similarities and differences between J and his parents. They've helped make him into the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But, of course, he is also his own person. Just as I am.
In-laws are part of marriage; there is no escaping that, and from mother-in-law jokes to the films 'Father of the Bride' and 'Monster-in-Law', the stereotypes are deep within our culture. Parents and parents-in-law become characters larger than life around the time of weddings, much like the bride herself, and to a lesser extent, the groom. If the happy couple are the stars of the show, the parents of each are surely the supporting cast with their own moment in the spotlight.
They say that mothers and daughters can find themselves at odds during wedding arrangements, and I think that will have to be the topic of another blog post altogether! The potential tension with in-laws, and especially the initial meeting, is another thing completely. I had never been introduced to a boyfriend's family before J's and when I first met his parents I had no idea what to say; but they welcomed me, put me at ease and soon I felt part of the family. We had tea, and dinner with his brother and his brother's fiancee. We wandered around the town they lived in, which was new to me, the local park-grounds and old Roman ruins. A few weeks later I attended J's brother's wedding, where I met his extended family. It was a really beautiful occasion. I enjoyed myself immensely, and felt J's family to be lovely people, an opinion which I still hold!
J had already met my sister a few times, as we were first introduced through her partner. To help out, the two of them also came to visit when I introduced J to my parents. Fortunately this meeting also went very well. Everyone was trying their best to be welcoming and friendly, and after sharing a bottle of wine and a tasty meal, the ice was well and truly broken.
Realising how unprepared both J and I had been for these meetings, though, but also acknowledging how lucky we both were to love each other's families, we knew that one day the in-laws would also have to meet each other. As they live several hours journey from each other, and from us, this occasion didn't present itself until sometime after we got engaged. In contradiction to previous family meetings, we attempted to plan this one. Preparing each other's parents with stories of the other, making sure they had things to talk about and do, even some space when necessary. Eventually we were able to pick a suitable weekend for J's parents to stay at my parents' house. However, we soon realised that this was real life, not a work of fiction, and there was no way to script and plan how the weekend would pan out! After some awkward small talk and everyone on their best behaviour, we all started to relax and a pleasant time was had by all.
Just another aspect of my new life I'm beginning to get used to as a soon-to-be-married woman! Extended families, parents and siblings-in-law, and adopted grandmothers and great-aunts! Both J and I are very lucky to have caring, close families, and I know how much I love and am grateful for my own family, especially my parents, in this somewhat stressing and manic time, despite disagreements! So, I would welcome my in-laws to stay anytime, but it is nice to have our home to ourselves again!
Until next time.
In-laws are part of marriage; there is no escaping that, and from mother-in-law jokes to the films 'Father of the Bride' and 'Monster-in-Law', the stereotypes are deep within our culture. Parents and parents-in-law become characters larger than life around the time of weddings, much like the bride herself, and to a lesser extent, the groom. If the happy couple are the stars of the show, the parents of each are surely the supporting cast with their own moment in the spotlight.
They say that mothers and daughters can find themselves at odds during wedding arrangements, and I think that will have to be the topic of another blog post altogether! The potential tension with in-laws, and especially the initial meeting, is another thing completely. I had never been introduced to a boyfriend's family before J's and when I first met his parents I had no idea what to say; but they welcomed me, put me at ease and soon I felt part of the family. We had tea, and dinner with his brother and his brother's fiancee. We wandered around the town they lived in, which was new to me, the local park-grounds and old Roman ruins. A few weeks later I attended J's brother's wedding, where I met his extended family. It was a really beautiful occasion. I enjoyed myself immensely, and felt J's family to be lovely people, an opinion which I still hold!
J had already met my sister a few times, as we were first introduced through her partner. To help out, the two of them also came to visit when I introduced J to my parents. Fortunately this meeting also went very well. Everyone was trying their best to be welcoming and friendly, and after sharing a bottle of wine and a tasty meal, the ice was well and truly broken.
Realising how unprepared both J and I had been for these meetings, though, but also acknowledging how lucky we both were to love each other's families, we knew that one day the in-laws would also have to meet each other. As they live several hours journey from each other, and from us, this occasion didn't present itself until sometime after we got engaged. In contradiction to previous family meetings, we attempted to plan this one. Preparing each other's parents with stories of the other, making sure they had things to talk about and do, even some space when necessary. Eventually we were able to pick a suitable weekend for J's parents to stay at my parents' house. However, we soon realised that this was real life, not a work of fiction, and there was no way to script and plan how the weekend would pan out! After some awkward small talk and everyone on their best behaviour, we all started to relax and a pleasant time was had by all.
Just another aspect of my new life I'm beginning to get used to as a soon-to-be-married woman! Extended families, parents and siblings-in-law, and adopted grandmothers and great-aunts! Both J and I are very lucky to have caring, close families, and I know how much I love and am grateful for my own family, especially my parents, in this somewhat stressing and manic time, despite disagreements! So, I would welcome my in-laws to stay anytime, but it is nice to have our home to ourselves again!
Until next time.
Saturday 26 September 2009
It's all about "The Dress"
The Dress. Capital 'T', capital 'D'. Thanks to films such as "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and celebrity magazines such as OK and Hello, weddings seem to have developed a fashion show element, and the star of that show is "The Dress". Styles, colours, length, train or no train, beading or not, lace or not, strapless or not. Sleeves, fishtail, A-line, ballgown... The list is endless, and the choice incredible. Do you go for a huge princess pile of fluff and floof? Or a simple Grecian dress? Or a slinky fishtail shift? And then there's colours: White, ivory, or red...
Gone, it seems, are the days of the traditional white wedding and with it, the traditional fluffy white dress. The scene in "Four Weddings..." where Andie McDowell tries on dress after dress after dress, may be exaggerated, but not by much. Once we had decided on a day and started searching for a venue, I also started searching for "The Dress". And everyone wanted to know what I'd found!
"The Dress" was definitely beginning to become the star of the show. J and I even attended a Wedding Fair that included a fashion show and although I was only particularly keen on one supplier, it was a place to start. And there was no denying that all the dresses were beautiful even if not all of them were my cup of tea.
I surfed the local bridal shop websites, I flicked through wedding magazines and in the end, I could tell you what I didn't like, but I couldn't tell you what I did like! I'd heard that when you find "The Dress", you just know. However, I was sceptical. The idea of "The Dress" was gaining a life of its own.
Sometime afterwards, I made my first appointment with a bridal shop - the one I'd liked at the Wedding Fair. With my sister - bridesmaid to be - in tow, I tried on my first wedding dress. It was extremely surreal but once I was able to convince myself that the woman in the mirror wearing a wedding dress was really me, I started to enjoy myself. It was a lot of fun, and the shop assistants were helpful and patient. I tried on several, liking some, disliking others. And then it happened. It clicked! Looking in the mirror I didn't look like I was playing dress-up, I looked, and felt, like a bride! Perhaps I'd found My Dress?
Playing it safe, I visited other shops and tried other dresses, but eventually returned to the one I'd loved so much. So, yes, I have now chosen "The Dress". And yes, when I saw it, I just knew it was the one for me. And I hope "The Dress" will enjoy its moment in the spotlight, and I hope that J will love it as I do.
It was easy to get overwhelmed, and to over-think. I'm the first to admit I do the second much too often. Gut instinct finally prevailed, and things just clicked. They continue to click with the venue, the music, and ideas about the flowers. Research is key (and more on that another time) but instinct should definitely not be ignored. And I would propose that the same applies to fiction - both reading and writing. Some of the best new writing I've read, and some of the most fun and interesting pieces I've written myself, have been a result of just going with my gut instinct. When it's right, it's right. It's when the plot clicks. When characters start talking to you. It's the word you've been struggling with in a poem that works despite itself. It's the book with the intriguing title or cover by an author you've never heard of. It's when you suddenly find "The Dress" is one you never even thought to look at, and your life is richer for it.
Until next time...
Gone, it seems, are the days of the traditional white wedding and with it, the traditional fluffy white dress. The scene in "Four Weddings..." where Andie McDowell tries on dress after dress after dress, may be exaggerated, but not by much. Once we had decided on a day and started searching for a venue, I also started searching for "The Dress". And everyone wanted to know what I'd found!
"The Dress" was definitely beginning to become the star of the show. J and I even attended a Wedding Fair that included a fashion show and although I was only particularly keen on one supplier, it was a place to start. And there was no denying that all the dresses were beautiful even if not all of them were my cup of tea.
I surfed the local bridal shop websites, I flicked through wedding magazines and in the end, I could tell you what I didn't like, but I couldn't tell you what I did like! I'd heard that when you find "The Dress", you just know. However, I was sceptical. The idea of "The Dress" was gaining a life of its own.
Sometime afterwards, I made my first appointment with a bridal shop - the one I'd liked at the Wedding Fair. With my sister - bridesmaid to be - in tow, I tried on my first wedding dress. It was extremely surreal but once I was able to convince myself that the woman in the mirror wearing a wedding dress was really me, I started to enjoy myself. It was a lot of fun, and the shop assistants were helpful and patient. I tried on several, liking some, disliking others. And then it happened. It clicked! Looking in the mirror I didn't look like I was playing dress-up, I looked, and felt, like a bride! Perhaps I'd found My Dress?
Playing it safe, I visited other shops and tried other dresses, but eventually returned to the one I'd loved so much. So, yes, I have now chosen "The Dress". And yes, when I saw it, I just knew it was the one for me. And I hope "The Dress" will enjoy its moment in the spotlight, and I hope that J will love it as I do.
It was easy to get overwhelmed, and to over-think. I'm the first to admit I do the second much too often. Gut instinct finally prevailed, and things just clicked. They continue to click with the venue, the music, and ideas about the flowers. Research is key (and more on that another time) but instinct should definitely not be ignored. And I would propose that the same applies to fiction - both reading and writing. Some of the best new writing I've read, and some of the most fun and interesting pieces I've written myself, have been a result of just going with my gut instinct. When it's right, it's right. It's when the plot clicks. When characters start talking to you. It's the word you've been struggling with in a poem that works despite itself. It's the book with the intriguing title or cover by an author you've never heard of. It's when you suddenly find "The Dress" is one you never even thought to look at, and your life is richer for it.
Until next time...
Sunday 20 September 2009
So, We Just Got Engaged...
Ok, so technically I live in Hove, not Brighton and this will be more of a collection of random thoughts than a straight-forward diary but I am getting married. Next September. Yes, this time next year I shall be a Mrs. However many times I say it, it still hasn't become any less unreal or strange. Strange, yes, but very exciting. And as I'm also a writer, here I shall be attemping to blog on both themes near to my heart and the bizarre, but hopefully interesting, links between my two worlds.
We got engaged in August 2008 when J proposed to me on my 30th birthday. To say I'm not a girly-girl is rather an understatement, and while I may be sitting here with pink nail vanish on I still have trouble putting eyeshadow on! What I mean to say is, I am not one of those girls who knew from childhood what they wanted from their wedding day. Even when J and I moved in together and started talking about eventual marriage, it didn't go any further than knowing I wanted a white gold engagement ring!
But a white gold engagement ring I got. I was presented with a surprise weekend in London, tickets to see the musical Wicked and tickets for the London Eye by both J, and my sister. When we reached the top of the Eye, J dropped to one knee and stated that he had one more surprise for me before pulling the perfect ring from his pocket. White gold with two diamonds.
After that, it was all anyone wanted to talk about, myself included, as I slowly began to turn into a giggly, girly, wedding obsessed bride-to-be. And it only got worse as we finally set a date and venue. As a friend of mine said, "it's Bridezilla!" But I plan to return to this in a later blog entry.
For now, I want to talk about the limbo land of engagement. It's exciting but once everyone's seen the ring and heard the story of the proposal, it all dies down. Unless you plan to immediately, well, plan for the big day itself. We didn't; had no ideas at all to begin with. So, we got engaged, and I've loved being engaged! For several months we coasted along all 'loved-up', as another friend says, allowing our imaginations to start running riot without the realistic logistics of budget, timings, and trying to please as many people as possible.
It's like the early days of a planning or writing (or even reading) a book, or a poem, or even a film, where as a writer or reader/viewer anything is possible and you can get swept along on a wave of possibility and creativity. Anything can happen and you can make it so. Then there's the research and the headaches and the time-lines and the way that background doesn't fit with that character. And that is all part of the process, and important, and also fun. But it's nothing without the initial spark of fire, the little voice in your head that says 'yes, this is good, and this is mine, and this is why I create'.
So, keep those moments alive people, enjoy them and then work hard to see them become real!
Until next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
