It's all about "The Dress"

The Dress. Capital 'T', capital 'D'. Thanks to films such as "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and celebrity magazines such as OK and Hello, weddings seem to have developed a fashion show element, and the star of that show is "The Dress". Styles, colours, length, train or no train, beading or not, lace or not, strapless or not. Sleeves, fishtail, A-line, ballgown... The list is endless, and the choice incredible. Do you go for a huge princess pile of fluff and floof? Or a simple Grecian dress? Or a slinky fishtail shift? And then there's colours: White, ivory, or red...

Gone, it seems, are the days of the traditional white wedding and with it, the traditional fluffy white dress. The scene in "Four Weddings..." where Andie McDowell tries on dress after dress after dress, may be exaggerated, but not by much. Once we had decided on a day and started searching for a venue, I also started searching for "The Dress". And everyone wanted to know what I'd found!

"The Dress" was definitely beginning to become the star of the show. J and I even attended a Wedding Fair that included a fashion show and although I was only particularly keen on one supplier, it was a place to start. And there was no denying that all the dresses were beautiful even if not all of them were my cup of tea.

I surfed the local bridal shop websites, I flicked through wedding magazines and in the end, I could tell you what I didn't like, but I couldn't tell you what I did like! I'd heard that when you find "The Dress", you just know. However, I was sceptical. The idea of "The Dress" was gaining a life of its own.

Sometime afterwards, I made my first appointment with a bridal shop - the one I'd liked at the Wedding Fair. With my sister - bridesmaid to be - in tow, I tried on my first wedding dress. It was extremely surreal but once I was able to convince myself that the woman in the mirror wearing a wedding dress was really me, I started to enjoy myself. It was a lot of fun, and the shop assistants were helpful and patient. I tried on several, liking some, disliking others. And then it happened. It clicked! Looking in the mirror I didn't look like I was playing dress-up, I looked, and felt, like a bride! Perhaps I'd found My Dress?

Playing it safe, I visited other shops and tried other dresses, but eventually returned to the one I'd loved so much. So, yes, I have now chosen "The Dress". And yes, when I saw it, I just knew it was the one for me. And I hope "The Dress" will enjoy its moment in the spotlight, and I hope that J will love it as I do.

It was easy to get overwhelmed, and to over-think. I'm the first to admit I do the second much too often. Gut instinct finally prevailed, and things just clicked. They continue to click with the venue, the music, and ideas about the flowers. Research is key (and more on that another time) but instinct should definitely not be ignored. And I would propose that the same applies to fiction - both reading and writing. Some of the best new writing I've read, and some of the most fun and interesting pieces I've written myself, have been a result of just going with my gut instinct. When it's right, it's right. It's when the plot clicks. When characters start talking to you. It's the word you've been struggling with in a poem that works despite itself. It's the book with the intriguing title or cover by an author you've never heard of. It's when you suddenly find "The Dress" is one you never even thought to look at, and your life is richer for it.

Until next time...

So, We Just Got Engaged...

Ok, so technically I live in Hove, not Brighton and this will be more of a collection of random thoughts than a straight-forward diary but I am getting married. Next September. Yes, this time next year I shall be a Mrs. However many times I say it, it still hasn't become any less unreal or strange. Strange, yes, but very exciting. And as I'm also a writer, here I shall be attemping to blog on both themes near to my heart and the bizarre, but hopefully interesting, links between my two worlds.

We got engaged in August 2008 when J proposed to me on my 30th birthday. To say I'm not a girly-girl is rather an understatement, and while I may be sitting here with pink nail vanish on I still have trouble putting eyeshadow on! What I mean to say is, I am not one of those girls who knew from childhood what they wanted from their wedding day. Even when J and I moved in together and started talking about eventual marriage, it didn't go any further than knowing I wanted a white gold engagement ring!

But a white gold engagement ring I got. I was presented with a surprise weekend in London, tickets to see the musical Wicked and tickets for the London Eye by both J, and my sister. When we reached the top of the Eye, J dropped to one knee and stated that he had one more surprise for me before pulling the perfect ring from his pocket. White gold with two diamonds.

After that, it was all anyone wanted to talk about, myself included, as I slowly began to turn into a giggly, girly, wedding obsessed bride-to-be. And it only got worse as we finally set a date and venue. As a friend of mine said, "it's Bridezilla!" But I plan to return to this in a later blog entry.

For now, I want to talk about the limbo land of engagement. It's exciting but once everyone's seen the ring and heard the story of the proposal, it all dies down. Unless you plan to immediately, well, plan for the big day itself. We didn't; had no ideas at all to begin with. So, we got engaged, and I've loved being engaged! For several months we coasted along all 'loved-up', as another friend says, allowing our imaginations to start running riot without the realistic logistics of budget, timings, and trying to please as many people as possible.

It's like the early days of a planning or writing (or even reading) a book, or a poem, or even a film, where as a writer or reader/viewer anything is possible and you can get swept along on a wave of possibility and creativity. Anything can happen and you can make it so. Then there's the research and the headaches and the time-lines and the way that background doesn't fit with that character. And that is all part of the process, and important, and also fun. But it's nothing without the initial spark of fire, the little voice in your head that says 'yes, this is good, and this is mine, and this is why I create'.

So, keep those moments alive people, enjoy them and then work hard to see them become real!

Until next time...