It's almost too easy to forget about the groom when planning a wedding. Practically by default, the bride becomes the centre of attention. It's usually her dream, her big day - the big dress, the flowers, the lovely venue. But let's not forget about the poor groom. It is his big day, too. I have noticed as I attempt to find my way through this strange land of wedding preparation that I'm the one who gets asked how the plans are progressing, I'm the one all the wedding magazines and websites are aimed at. The amount of pages devoted to the groom is very slim. And it's a real shame. Traditionally, it's true, the groom might just sit back and let his beautiful wife to be organise everything, with his job being just to turn up to the church on time. But more and more often today you do find couples planning their wedding together, especially if they are paying for it themselves or are already living together.
I know I'm lucky that J is just as excited about our big day as I am, and he was very involved in the initial planning and research stage. He still is involved with the details and final preparations, although admittedly I am taking more responsibility. Probably because, as stated earlier, the groom is hardly mentioned. But I am endeavouring to keep J as included as possible, and he is glad of that. If I tend to over-do the organising and a hint of bridzilla-ness appears, he can pull me back, and then I can pass certain tasks over to him.
To me, the pinnacle of the down-playing of the groom is the attitude towards the outfits the happy couple wears. The bride will spend months searching for the perfect dress, choosing the right accessories, shoes, hair and make-up. There are fittings and further fittings, and a fortune is spent on an outfit that will only be worn once.
The groom, on the other hand, has to go to a good department store a few weeks before the wedding and order a suit. To hire. That then gets returned. The only decision might be the colour - black or grey, and the exact style - morning suit or not?
J, never one to just run with the crowd, has decided to put his own outfit together. He has therefore found a gorgeous Regency-style jacket and purple waistcoat (to match our colour scheme), and has bought trousers and a shirt he will wear again. In fact, he will likely wear the jacket and/or waistcoat again, perhaps on our honeymoon. It's original, it's flattering, it's very J, and he will have it for years to come. He will stand out on our big day as much as I will, he will hopefully feel somewhat special and unique, and the photographs should look brilliant!
Until next time...
Sunday 20 June 2010
Sunday 6 June 2010
Your presence is required...
A quick update this time.
The wedding invitations went out a couple of weeks ago, and now we are having fun awaiting all the replies. It's a funny in-between time. Although there's still plenty to do, there's not much to be done at the moment. Details of the day will be confirmed with the venue at the end of June, then monies to be paid and dresses to be collected, the table plan to be tweaked, and speeches to be written.
Meanwhile, we wait. We're loving seeing the acceptances come in, and are sad to say that some people we wish could attend, unfortunately can't. The invitations look wonderful - elegant and stylish, roughly designed by myself and produced and printed by my talented, artistic sister, using a photograph she took years ago. I'm incredibly happy with how they turned out. We've also received our first wedding card. Very exciting!
Until next time...
The wedding invitations went out a couple of weeks ago, and now we are having fun awaiting all the replies. It's a funny in-between time. Although there's still plenty to do, there's not much to be done at the moment. Details of the day will be confirmed with the venue at the end of June, then monies to be paid and dresses to be collected, the table plan to be tweaked, and speeches to be written.
Meanwhile, we wait. We're loving seeing the acceptances come in, and are sad to say that some people we wish could attend, unfortunately can't. The invitations look wonderful - elegant and stylish, roughly designed by myself and produced and printed by my talented, artistic sister, using a photograph she took years ago. I'm incredibly happy with how they turned out. We've also received our first wedding card. Very exciting!
Until next time...
Tuesday 1 June 2010
The Ring's The Thing
This weekend we went to collect my wedding ring from the jewellers. Yes, my ring. Not our rings. Because, unusually, J wanted his own engagement ring when we first got engaged. And I was more than happy to buy one for him. Previously to popping the question, we'd talked in vague terms about getting married, engagement, and looked at rings in shop windows. J had an idea of the sort of ring I'd like and dislike, and that was about it. He chose wisely, though, and my engagement ring is a very pretty white gold ring with two small diamonds and a slightly unusual twist to the band. It's very me.
When it came to J's engagement ring, we went and chose it together. He had already seen a couple of rings he liked, and wanted my opinion before we made a final decision together. The end result was a wide titanium band with a thin band of white gold running through the middle. Very stylish, and very J. It's original, slightly geeky and very strong (they couldn't adjust the metal but had to order one in his size especially).
Although I loved my engagement ring on sight and wanted to wear it immediately (I couldn't, it was too small!) it did take me some time to get used to wearing it. Now, I have my wedding ring waiting to be worn, and this, I feel, will take even longer to get used to, with all it's symbolism, and the fact that this is my wedding ring and what I shall wear for the rest of my life. With all that in mind, the idea of it is somewhat daunting. In addition, I wanted something that matches my personality, and that also matched J and I as a couple. I feel that we already have that in our engagement rings, and for many people, it seems, the engagement ring, although technically the less important, is the more expensive, flashy one. The one everyone notices.
I wanted to be slightly different, though. For a start, I don't wear yellow gold, usually silver. Therefore the traditional choice of a yellow gold band was out. We then made the decision that J would use his engagement ring as his wedding ring, as it is such a lovely ring and suits him so well that I wouldn't want him not to wear it anymore. But, being a rather wide band, there would be no space for that and a wedding band. So it would become the wedding band. I myself am very keen on the style of the titanium band, but it was rather wide. Would I be able to have something similar for myself, or would I have to opt for a white gold band?
In the end, as is often the case, the decision and logistics were amazingly easy. We inquired in the jewellers where we had bought J's ring, as to whether they made a thinner, women's version. In fact, they could just take the existing men's ring and order it to be made in a thinner, smaller size.
Four weeks later, I have an exact match for J's ring, only thinner and more feminine. All of the detail is still there, and it is much more interesting to me than a plain gold band. In addition, the two wedding rings now match. It's interesting how much thought can go into such things, and what your choices can say about you to other people. The range of engagement rings is immense, and the choice of wedding rings is now also growing. I know I've made the right choice, though, and I'm looking forward to being able to wear both rings together in three and a half months time, and get used to the feel of a wedding ring on my finger!
Until next time...
When it came to J's engagement ring, we went and chose it together. He had already seen a couple of rings he liked, and wanted my opinion before we made a final decision together. The end result was a wide titanium band with a thin band of white gold running through the middle. Very stylish, and very J. It's original, slightly geeky and very strong (they couldn't adjust the metal but had to order one in his size especially).
Although I loved my engagement ring on sight and wanted to wear it immediately (I couldn't, it was too small!) it did take me some time to get used to wearing it. Now, I have my wedding ring waiting to be worn, and this, I feel, will take even longer to get used to, with all it's symbolism, and the fact that this is my wedding ring and what I shall wear for the rest of my life. With all that in mind, the idea of it is somewhat daunting. In addition, I wanted something that matches my personality, and that also matched J and I as a couple. I feel that we already have that in our engagement rings, and for many people, it seems, the engagement ring, although technically the less important, is the more expensive, flashy one. The one everyone notices.
I wanted to be slightly different, though. For a start, I don't wear yellow gold, usually silver. Therefore the traditional choice of a yellow gold band was out. We then made the decision that J would use his engagement ring as his wedding ring, as it is such a lovely ring and suits him so well that I wouldn't want him not to wear it anymore. But, being a rather wide band, there would be no space for that and a wedding band. So it would become the wedding band. I myself am very keen on the style of the titanium band, but it was rather wide. Would I be able to have something similar for myself, or would I have to opt for a white gold band?
In the end, as is often the case, the decision and logistics were amazingly easy. We inquired in the jewellers where we had bought J's ring, as to whether they made a thinner, women's version. In fact, they could just take the existing men's ring and order it to be made in a thinner, smaller size.
Four weeks later, I have an exact match for J's ring, only thinner and more feminine. All of the detail is still there, and it is much more interesting to me than a plain gold band. In addition, the two wedding rings now match. It's interesting how much thought can go into such things, and what your choices can say about you to other people. The range of engagement rings is immense, and the choice of wedding rings is now also growing. I know I've made the right choice, though, and I'm looking forward to being able to wear both rings together in three and a half months time, and get used to the feel of a wedding ring on my finger!
Until next time...
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